He can walk this path for a little while without her. It's temporary. It isn't forever - marriage is. Death.
Not a fight that they can't even find a proper way to have. ]
I'm Anakin.
[ Pause. Skywalker, he should add, to keep things properly formal but they aren't necessarily going to talk again, are they? The Senators attending this gathering come from all over the galaxy - and with the other man looking distinctively human (though looks can deceive, he's well aware, he's had Obi-Wan's awkward lecture on intergalactic genitalia, thanks, even if they're both pretending it never happened), there's really no telling where he comes from, whether it's a planet he's heard of. He might only be on Coruscant for this event, who knows?
Besides, his last name is a matter of family. His mother lies dead in the sands.
Gaze slipping sideways, darkness churning in his chest for a split-second before he remembers himself, he takes a small breath and glances back at the other man, trying for half a smile. ]
You?
[ He sets off down the hallway, timing his pace to the other man's as they walk. ]
[ Etiquette prescribes that he associates himself with the planet that he both represents and rules over, but Claude thinks - if Anakin can get away with just a given name, so should he. They should be equal in this. Their little adventure, wherever it takes them. He's not gonna ask, he doesn't honetly want to know. Surprise him.
Anakin leads them down the hallway, same way Rainier went, but for some reason, in this company, Claude isn't particularly bothered by the thought of running into his old mentor again. There's always the robe, right? It could do with a dash more of golden sprinkle. And he could do with a whiff more of the other man's scent, he still remembers it, how heavy and warm it had been.
Feeling how the taller man is adjusting his step to fit Claude's shorter legs, Claude raises an eyebrow up at him and cocks his head slightly. Definitely, it's meant as praise when he says, ]
You've got good reflexes.
[ But it's also an observation, just as it's in a sense a question, too, a curious poke. Who are you, what do you do, how are you the way you are (you are lovely, by the way) and yet, it isn't posed as a question, because if he did, Anakin would have to answer and Claude doesn't want him to dish out that information unless he feels like it. Unless they're at that stage, where that's something they can do. He doesn't want there to be that kind of expectation between them. For all that it could be, it could still just be praise. True.
It feels like freedom, this. He wouldn't want it to be less than that.
Thus, instead, Claude just keeps up with the other man's long legs that would look amazing in a loincloth, he's not gonna pretend he isn't imagining it. Blue, sky, like his eyes. Wherever he comes from and wherever they're going, that's the association that follows along. ]
[ A small laugh, then a shrug. It's not modesty, obviously - even Anakin will admit that he wouldn't know modesty if it bit him in the arse - but it's something maybe a little awkward, possibly born from the fact that Claude - Claude, he says, what a soft-sounding name - is walking half-naked next to him, complimenting Anakin on something that's honestly just inherent to him.
It doesn't feel like something he ought to be proud of, but all the same, there's that well-known warmth spreading in his chest, the notion that someone looks at him and likes what they see. He grew up, measured by whatever worth he had to others - the reflex is hard (impossible) to shake and coupled with how much he's managed to ruin in very little time, the whole thing just makes him feel... weird. Wrong. Happy, but wrong.
All the same, his mother didn't raise him without manners so he pushes the sense of wrongness aside. ]
Thanks. [ He gives Claude a sideways look. ] I - well, I'm a Jedi. It comes with the package.
[ He gestures towards his robes briefly before taking them left down a narrow sideway leading to one of the large balconies curving against the dome. There's an outside and an inside-option. He figures Claude might prefer the latter with how little clothes he's wearing - though, a part of him wouldn't mind lending him his cloak again, just to watch him wearing it. To see what sort of imprint he might get to take home in the aftermath.
Another thought that doesn't feel right, true. He should make a list at this point, probably, except then he'd have to figure out what to do with whatever's on it. Work through it somehow? Meditate?
[ I'm a Jedi, Anakin says, gesturing at his robes like that should mean something to Claude except the fact that he just wore them and he's left the dust of gold all over a supposedly devoted man's clothes. Oops? He doesn't even feel particularly bad about it. Curious, more. Intrigued. He's heard about the Jedi, of course, but Paris having been neutral throughout his whole childhood and adolescence means, there hasn't been any direct interaction, no visits, no help extended, though he knows about the Order through his teachers, Dia among others spoke of them.
He'll admit as much, the visual he'd conjured up of a Jedi was very different than the one currently walking next to him. Older. More beard, less blue eyes, right?
Truthfully, he likes this Jedi better, he thinks. This Jedi is less fantasy, more real presence, personhood, company.
The kind of company that leads him towards the balconies on the outside of the dome, passing by colleages and opponents alike as they move forward. Claude steers them towards one of the outer balconies, gesturing with one hand while he moves, steps slow, firm, light footfalls. He's gotten used to the chillier atmosphere of Coruscant at this point. Sure, he'd probably have worn a tunic, meant for colder weather, if he'd known where he'd end up tonight, but then Anakin's robe wouldn't have come into the equation, would it? That would have been a shame. Instead, he comments, ]
Oh. You're my first, then. [ A small smile, the inclination of his chin, then he asks, carefully: ] Do you like being a Jedi?
[ The adjustment takes a second, a split-second, then he realises how it might come off, like suspicion and questioning and demanding answers, all the things they're not doing tonight. So, he slows down a little and turns halfway towards Anakin, looking up at his face. ]
I don't mean to doubt your dedication, it's just... Sometimes the roads we're walking in life are complex and we can follow one direction for ourselves while also being uncertain about it. I know this from myself, at least. I figured maybe it could be something like that. [ A pause. Claude turns back, finds his balance, the stride in his step again. ] You tell me.
[ It's your life, it means. Your experience. Tell me about it. ]
[ Claude actually steers them towards the outsides and Anakin follows his lead with a sense of quiet dread (mixed in with some excitement that he very staunchly isn't thinking about), knowing full well that going outside in the cold wearing nothing on your upper body tends to make things... slightly... Kriff, there's another item to the list. He shrugs right out of his cloak once more, deciding that forestalling is best, and throws it over Claude's shoulders haphazardly before stepping in front of him to open the door.
Do you like being a Jedi.
Do you like.
The rest of Claude's elaboration sort of slips past his ears, some of the words lost to the churning in his stomach, the question unexpectedly hard to contemplate. He frowns, holding the door for the other man and waiting for him to pass by, the cold drifting in from outside making his breath stick in his throat for a second. Though he's spent many years away from Tatooine now and flown in space countless times, his body remains sensitive to cold weather. Everything outside of blazing heat - desert, dry, twin suns and dunes without shade - is always at least a few degrees below his comfort zone.
As he steps outside behind the other man, he thinks the question over again.
You tell me.
Well. There's only one thing to tell, surely. Anakin is a Jedi. He was meant to be one, according to some and if nothing else, he's got the powers to go with the job, doesn't he? He's meant to be here. Back straightening a fraction, he slips his hands behind his back, fingers folded in a tight grip. ]
Of course I like it.
[ The words feel dry and he adds quickly, voice unintentionally sharp: ]
The Jedi philosophy is about showing compassion. About peace-keeping. It's what I want to do.
[ He thinks about the war, about Obi-Wan fighting on the front lines as they speak. About his marriage, at an uneasy standstill now, lies on top of lies. Do you like being a Jedi, Claude asked, and he does, he likes it. It's just never... it matters, what comes out of it. What he accomplishes, how the world changes as a consequence.
[ It's the way Anakin drops his robe on him, haphazardly, like he's predicting Claude's next move three steps ahead - outside is cold, after all, and one guard against the cold is more clothes - which makes Claude think something strange to himself. Anakin is acting like Claude's servants back on Paris, letting him step out first like that - his servants who are making his bed in the morning, preparing his lunch, laying out his things at the right time, in the correct order. Sure, it could be a Jedi trait, but nowhere in the description Anakin gives of his life as a Jedi does it say servitude. Compassion and peace-keeping, something that's hard enough to believe, right? In these times. But not that kind of service.
He remembers Dia's introduction of privilege clearly still. And he thinks, for someone with the kind of powers they hone in the Jedi Order, Anakin doesn't strike him as someone with a lot of it.
Once he's stepped outside, just far enough that Anakin can follow easily and not block the entrance for anyone else wanting to come out here, he turns towards the other man, gathering the heavy fabric of his robe around himself, the scent of him right where they left off, but feeling somehow warmer in the chill. Heavier. Musky. Masculine. The Jedi come from all over the galaxy, they herald from different planets, systems, species. What unites them is not anything like that, it's - as Anakin says, their philosophy. Their belief.
And they are not making themselves popular in this war, but war makes no one popular except the ones benefiting from it. Considering that for a moment, Claude frowns. ]
I don't find that hard to believe. [ You've helped me twice already, twice and counting, it means. A shrug, and he carries on, holding on to his point, because he's used to arguing his case and besides, it's an important distinction to make - the philosophy you wanna live by and the reality that philosophy has to accommodate. It's always the same. The monarchy was built on a foundation of wanting to govern the people justly, too. What it is now, he doesn't kriffing know anymore... ] It's just, sometimes what we want to do isn't what we end up doing, despite our best intentions.
[ Walking over to the balustrade, he gives Anakin time to decide whether to follow, how closely, how soon. Slowly, he leans his elbows on the railing, looking out over the city planet at night. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He can walk this path for a little while without her. It's temporary. It isn't forever - marriage is. Death.
Not a fight that they can't even find a proper way to have. ]
I'm Anakin.
[ Pause. Skywalker, he should add, to keep things properly formal but they aren't necessarily going to talk again, are they? The Senators attending this gathering come from all over the galaxy - and with the other man looking distinctively human (though looks can deceive, he's well aware, he's had Obi-Wan's awkward lecture on intergalactic genitalia, thanks, even if they're both pretending it never happened), there's really no telling where he comes from, whether it's a planet he's heard of. He might only be on Coruscant for this event, who knows?
Besides, his last name is a matter of family. His mother lies dead in the sands.
Gaze slipping sideways, darkness churning in his chest for a split-second before he remembers himself, he takes a small breath and glances back at the other man, trying for half a smile. ]
You?
[ He sets off down the hallway, timing his pace to the other man's as they walk. ]
no subject
[ Etiquette prescribes that he associates himself with the planet that he both represents and rules over, but Claude thinks - if Anakin can get away with just a given name, so should he. They should be equal in this. Their little adventure, wherever it takes them. He's not gonna ask, he doesn't honetly want to know. Surprise him.
Anakin leads them down the hallway, same way Rainier went, but for some reason, in this company, Claude isn't particularly bothered by the thought of running into his old mentor again. There's always the robe, right? It could do with a dash more of golden sprinkle. And he could do with a whiff more of the other man's scent, he still remembers it, how heavy and warm it had been.
Feeling how the taller man is adjusting his step to fit Claude's shorter legs, Claude raises an eyebrow up at him and cocks his head slightly. Definitely, it's meant as praise when he says, ]
You've got good reflexes.
[ But it's also an observation, just as it's in a sense a question, too, a curious poke. Who are you, what do you do, how are you the way you are (you are lovely, by the way) and yet, it isn't posed as a question, because if he did, Anakin would have to answer and Claude doesn't want him to dish out that information unless he feels like it. Unless they're at that stage, where that's something they can do. He doesn't want there to be that kind of expectation between them. For all that it could be, it could still just be praise. True.
It feels like freedom, this. He wouldn't want it to be less than that.
Thus, instead, Claude just keeps up with the other man's long legs that would look amazing in a loincloth, he's not gonna pretend he isn't imagining it. Blue, sky, like his eyes. Wherever he comes from and wherever they're going, that's the association that follows along. ]
no subject
It doesn't feel like something he ought to be proud of, but all the same, there's that well-known warmth spreading in his chest, the notion that someone looks at him and likes what they see. He grew up, measured by whatever worth he had to others - the reflex is hard (impossible) to shake and coupled with how much he's managed to ruin in very little time, the whole thing just makes him feel... weird. Wrong. Happy, but wrong.
All the same, his mother didn't raise him without manners so he pushes the sense of wrongness aside. ]
Thanks. [ He gives Claude a sideways look. ] I - well, I'm a Jedi. It comes with the package.
[ He gestures towards his robes briefly before taking them left down a narrow sideway leading to one of the large balconies curving against the dome. There's an outside and an inside-option. He figures Claude might prefer the latter with how little clothes he's wearing - though, a part of him wouldn't mind lending him his cloak again, just to watch him wearing it. To see what sort of imprint he might get to take home in the aftermath.
Another thought that doesn't feel right, true. He should make a list at this point, probably, except then he'd have to figure out what to do with whatever's on it. Work through it somehow? Meditate?
Right. ]
no subject
He'll admit as much, the visual he'd conjured up of a Jedi was very different than the one currently walking next to him. Older. More beard, less blue eyes, right?
Truthfully, he likes this Jedi better, he thinks. This Jedi is less fantasy, more real presence, personhood, company.
The kind of company that leads him towards the balconies on the outside of the dome, passing by colleages and opponents alike as they move forward. Claude steers them towards one of the outer balconies, gesturing with one hand while he moves, steps slow, firm, light footfalls. He's gotten used to the chillier atmosphere of Coruscant at this point. Sure, he'd probably have worn a tunic, meant for colder weather, if he'd known where he'd end up tonight, but then Anakin's robe wouldn't have come into the equation, would it? That would have been a shame. Instead, he comments, ]
Oh. You're my first, then. [ A small smile, the inclination of his chin, then he asks, carefully: ] Do you like being a Jedi?
[ The adjustment takes a second, a split-second, then he realises how it might come off, like suspicion and questioning and demanding answers, all the things they're not doing tonight. So, he slows down a little and turns halfway towards Anakin, looking up at his face. ]
I don't mean to doubt your dedication, it's just... Sometimes the roads we're walking in life are complex and we can follow one direction for ourselves while also being uncertain about it. I know this from myself, at least. I figured maybe it could be something like that. [ A pause. Claude turns back, finds his balance, the stride in his step again. ] You tell me.
[ It's your life, it means. Your experience. Tell me about it. ]
no subject
Do you like being a Jedi.
Do you like.
The rest of Claude's elaboration sort of slips past his ears, some of the words lost to the churning in his stomach, the question unexpectedly hard to contemplate. He frowns, holding the door for the other man and waiting for him to pass by, the cold drifting in from outside making his breath stick in his throat for a second. Though he's spent many years away from Tatooine now and flown in space countless times, his body remains sensitive to cold weather. Everything outside of blazing heat - desert, dry, twin suns and dunes without shade - is always at least a few degrees below his comfort zone.
As he steps outside behind the other man, he thinks the question over again.
You tell me.
Well. There's only one thing to tell, surely. Anakin is a Jedi. He was meant to be one, according to some and if nothing else, he's got the powers to go with the job, doesn't he? He's meant to be here. Back straightening a fraction, he slips his hands behind his back, fingers folded in a tight grip. ]
Of course I like it.
[ The words feel dry and he adds quickly, voice unintentionally sharp: ]
The Jedi philosophy is about showing compassion. About peace-keeping. It's what I want to do.
[ He thinks about the war, about Obi-Wan fighting on the front lines as they speak. About his marriage, at an uneasy standstill now, lies on top of lies. Do you like being a Jedi, Claude asked, and he does, he likes it. It's just never... it matters, what comes out of it. What he accomplishes, how the world changes as a consequence.
What he can do to make it. ]
no subject
He remembers Dia's introduction of privilege clearly still. And he thinks, for someone with the kind of powers they hone in the Jedi Order, Anakin doesn't strike him as someone with a lot of it.
Once he's stepped outside, just far enough that Anakin can follow easily and not block the entrance for anyone else wanting to come out here, he turns towards the other man, gathering the heavy fabric of his robe around himself, the scent of him right where they left off, but feeling somehow warmer in the chill. Heavier. Musky. Masculine. The Jedi come from all over the galaxy, they herald from different planets, systems, species. What unites them is not anything like that, it's - as Anakin says, their philosophy. Their belief.
And they are not making themselves popular in this war, but war makes no one popular except the ones benefiting from it. Considering that for a moment, Claude frowns. ]
I don't find that hard to believe. [ You've helped me twice already, twice and counting, it means. A shrug, and he carries on, holding on to his point, because he's used to arguing his case and besides, it's an important distinction to make - the philosophy you wanna live by and the reality that philosophy has to accommodate. It's always the same. The monarchy was built on a foundation of wanting to govern the people justly, too. What it is now, he doesn't kriffing know anymore... ] It's just, sometimes what we want to do isn't what we end up doing, despite our best intentions.
[ Walking over to the balustrade, he gives Anakin time to decide whether to follow, how closely, how soon. Slowly, he leans his elbows on the railing, looking out over the city planet at night. ]